Sorry. I took my car into Firestone this week to replace the back window wiper motor and I had to sit in Arby's for 2 hours while I waited for the work to be complete. This is the result of that dark time in my life.
Life is Fragile
My dad went in for hip surgery on Monday and everything went fine. I visited him at the hospital and put on a puppet show until he told me to stop bothering him and leave. Then during the night he went into a coma because of an overdose of his pain medicine and then he stopped breathing. They brought him back, but it was very close and I was a little shaken up over it. I came to realize that I am not a great son, and even worse of a grandson. I hardly ever go to visit my grandparents and they are getting pretty old now. I need to spend time with them before its too late. And get me some of that will-money they keep in their mattress.
Photoshop My Baby
Just in case you missed it last week, don't forget to go to this site to order your custom expensive Photoshop of your child standing next to a dragon. We killed the site off last week, but now its back, minus the crazy rainbow background. This is the last time I will terrorize this poor woman trying to make a living by doing nothing, but this is the best geocities site ever and I feel the need to spread the love. GOGOGOGOGO!
Can you figure out which clickbait headlines are a gross parody of journalism itself, and which are fake?
Forget Target or Best Buy, if you want deals this Black Friday you can't do better than smoking massive, mind-melting quantities of DMT.
You cant go around life being smart in an unconventional way, it could change the world.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!