Credit goes mostly to Josh "Livestock" Boruff on this update, because not only did he come up with the wonderful soup-at-war idea, he also made the fantastic images. I feel like a chump letting him carry me like this! What the hell am I getting paid for? Writing? Any idiot could write! So anyway, send your adoring praise to him!
(Last known photo of Josh "Livestock" Boruff, who recently absconded to Mexico with a suitcase full of cocaine and little girls' wrists)
"Oh, look, it's me from the future! And there's another me, made of anti-matter! All three of us are reaching out towards the exact same point in space, our fingertips on a collision course."
Levi Johnston finally comes clean about his involvement in the Weinstein scandal and details a disgusting incident that required a green screen.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!