Credit goes mostly to Josh "Livestock" Boruff on this update, because not only did he come up with the wonderful soup-at-war idea, he also made the fantastic images. I feel like a chump letting him carry me like this! What the hell am I getting paid for? Writing? Any idiot could write! So anyway, send your adoring praise to him!
(Last known photo of Josh "Livestock" Boruff, who recently absconded to Mexico with a suitcase full of cocaine and little girls' wrists)
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
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