Zack: What the hell is even going on with this guy's hand? It's like Johnny Bench just caught a wild slider from the drafting table.
Steve: He looks so mad. "Bro, I heard you breaking bad on forehead gems. Don't make me take off this sleeveless pirate coat and come kick your butt."
Zack: "Just because I'm seven feet tall doesn't mean I don't know my ionic from my doric."
Steve: I never really conceived of a genie making blueprints. And aren't pretty much all genies going to try to trick you with your wish?
Zack: That's more of a leprechaun thing, but I'm sure an evil genie would do it too.
Steve: "What the hell is this staircase doing on the kitchen island!?"
Zack: "And why is there a real island in my kitchen?"Steve: "And why is the second story of my house a book?"
Zack: "And why is there a guy standing here named Bill Ding? What am I supposed to do with this? You think it's funny? I ordered 200 desks and PCs."
Steve: "And why did you give all of my money to some guy who hates elves so he'll ask if I want to go up or down?"
Zack: "Real good work. Hey, Kazzam, that's not how you hold a ruler, you mitt-fisted moron. Go back to your bottle and fuck yourself. Maybe learn a trade up to your skill set of horrible puns and drawing crooked lines."
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.