Zack: The SDR-5V Spider introduces the Inner Sphere to the future of battlefield fleeing. Blasts, barrages, or bombardments; when running isn't good enough, be good enough to Run Big.
Steve: At least here it looks like regular running is good enough.
Zack: Good enough for who, Steve? What's that guy going to do when he gets done running?
Steve: I don't know. Maybe bend over at the waist and put his hands on his legs and catch his breath.
Zack: I don't know what he's going to do either, but I know what he's not going to do: fire his chest lasers. That's what the SDR-5V is going to do.
Steve: When you think about it they're not really running from the explosion, they're running towards the not explosion.
Zack: How do you sleep at night?
Steve: I have bad dreams a lot. My mom said I watch scary videos too late. Spider is sort of creepy with those spindly legs and arms like that dude who creeps around in the woods in Youtube videos and messes with kids.
Zack: Slendermech? I prefer Fatmech. He looks like a bloated Javelin and he sits in a bathtub eating SRM ammo until he shits in the bath water and then he smells the shit and he pukes up the SRM ammo. And then he laughs.
Steve: That dude sounds nasty.
Zack: He shits and pukes and laughs, Steve. He laughs so much. He is a fat wobbly disgrace to House Davion. Laughing and eating Pizza Rolls.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.