Zack: It's Eggland's Best Assault Mech.
Steve: I found something like this in my mom's dresser one time. It smelled like machine oil.
Zack: What were you doing in your mom's dresser?
Steve: Trying to put together an assault lance for a 4v4 on the desert map. It worked pretty well until my Stalker vibrated across the table and knocked over Keith's Phoenix Hawk.
Zack: If you unwrap a Stalker there's a chocolate internal structure and then a little puzzle pilot you have to put together.
Steve: It seems like this one maybe should have "ost" in its name.
Zack: Steve's Ostmother. Ost Eggmom. Ostkinder Stevebaby. Dr. Ostbender.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.