Zack: He's offering up an ice-cold beverage from his chest-mounted 12-pack coolers.
Steve: "Yo, buds, it's me, Dervish, the partyingest mech on Solaris! Pull up a beach towel, grab a cold brew, and plug something into my arm outlets!"
Zack: "Wow! Couple of Jagermechs and an Awesome at 6 o'clock. Hey now, boys, don't look right at them, you'll scare them off!"
Steve: "Ohhhh ugh they're with an Archer! One of you two gets the Archer. Take one for the team."
Zack: He can mix drinks in his legs and if you critical hit his head a burrito will pop out of that triangle in his chest.
Steve: "What's up, baby? Is your name Kerensky? Cuz I ain't seen double heatsinks like those since I visited Strana Mechty."
Zack: Alright, now that's just gratuitous.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.