AD&D - First Edition Monster Manual (1977)


Steve:
This is where the elves start branching out into their sub-races. You've got the drow and the gray elves and the wood elves and the aquatic elves.

Zack: "With opilio season coming to a close the crew of the Time Bandit will have to catch a break to turn an unlucky run into a jackpot." *pulls up a pot, it's full of aquatic elves* "It's bleeping elves again. Bleep these bleeping elves. Stay out of our crab traps you bleeeeep." *shoves them off the sorting table onto the deck*

Steve: To be honest every time I watch that show I am waiting for them to pull up a mermaid or a big squid or something crazy but it's always fish and crabs.

Zack: It's quite a leap in elven evolution for just a few years.

Steve: Oh, totally dude. The elves really came into their own with this edition of D&D. They weren't just brutal Fighting-Men anymore. They had their own culture and civilizations and everything.

Zack: Yeah, these elves live in trees. These elves live underground. They are bad elves. Real anthropology.

Steve: Hey, dude, you know what video games were like in 1979? Everything was set on the moon and the games had worse graphics than a granny quilt.

Zack: You're just spoiled by our modern, high-res granny quilts.

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.