Steve: This is where the elves start branching out into their sub-races. You've got the drow and the gray elves and the wood elves and the aquatic elves.
Zack: "With opilio season coming to a close the crew of the Time Bandit will have to catch a break to turn an unlucky run into a jackpot." *pulls up a pot, it's full of aquatic elves* "It's bleeping elves again. Bleep these bleeping elves. Stay out of our crab traps you bleeeeep." *shoves them off the sorting table onto the deck*
Steve: To be honest every time I watch that show I am waiting for them to pull up a mermaid or a big squid or something crazy but it's always fish and crabs.
Zack: It's quite a leap in elven evolution for just a few years.
Steve: Oh, totally dude. The elves really came into their own with this edition of D&D. They weren't just brutal Fighting-Men anymore. They had their own culture and civilizations and everything.
Zack: Yeah, these elves live in trees. These elves live underground. They are bad elves. Real anthropology.
Steve: Hey, dude, you know what video games were like in 1979? Everything was set on the moon and the games had worse graphics than a granny quilt.
Zack: You're just spoiled by our modern, high-res granny quilts.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.