Steve: The Thing is maimed by this unruly, brutal elf. Bearded elf, rude dude. Thwarts heroes with his cutlass.
Zack: Great Lego-hand detail on this guy. Another example of that classic original D&D outsider art. The desultory school of art.
Steve: That's pretty wicked how they can be a fighter one adventure and if they want they can just switch over to being a wizard.
Zack: Never trust an elf.
Steve: That's a good point, but not because they switch classes. It is because of their whimsical and often mercurial nature.
Zack: Speaks orc, hobgoblin, gnoll, and whatever else. You know, usual stuff. No big deal. He speaks it.
Steve: I think that means common.
Zack: Yeppp bought the Rosetta Stone CDs for Hobgoblin. I figure it'll take me about six weeks to quest across the mountains and to the cursed lands of the hobgoblins. Should be on advanced discs by then.
Steve: I took four years of kobold in high school and I never get a chance to use it.
Zack: Gugbug e Zack. Huggamug e dob discotheque?
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
He was ripped off for True Detective, now Thomas Ligotti is being asked to review Pizza Hut's new Hotdog Pizza Bites.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.