Steve: The Thing is maimed by this unruly, brutal elf. Bearded elf, rude dude. Thwarts heroes with his cutlass.
Zack: Great Lego-hand detail on this guy. Another example of that classic original D&D outsider art. The desultory school of art.
Steve: That's pretty wicked how they can be a fighter one adventure and if they want they can just switch over to being a wizard.
Zack: Never trust an elf.
Steve: That's a good point, but not because they switch classes. It is because of their whimsical and often mercurial nature.
Zack: Speaks orc, hobgoblin, gnoll, and whatever else. You know, usual stuff. No big deal. He speaks it.
Steve: I think that means common.
Zack: Yeppp bought the Rosetta Stone CDs for Hobgoblin. I figure it'll take me about six weeks to quest across the mountains and to the cursed lands of the hobgoblins. Should be on advanced discs by then.
Steve: I took four years of kobold in high school and I never get a chance to use it.
Zack: Gugbug e Zack. Huggamug e dob discotheque?
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.