Steve: The Thing is maimed by this unruly, brutal elf. Bearded elf, rude dude. Thwarts heroes with his cutlass.
Zack: Great Lego-hand detail on this guy. Another example of that classic original D&D outsider art. The desultory school of art.
Steve: That's pretty wicked how they can be a fighter one adventure and if they want they can just switch over to being a wizard.
Zack: Never trust an elf.
Steve: That's a good point, but not because they switch classes. It is because of their whimsical and often mercurial nature.
Zack: Speaks orc, hobgoblin, gnoll, and whatever else. You know, usual stuff. No big deal. He speaks it.
Steve: I think that means common.
Zack: Yeppp bought the Rosetta Stone CDs for Hobgoblin. I figure it'll take me about six weeks to quest across the mountains and to the cursed lands of the hobgoblins. Should be on advanced discs by then.
Steve: I took four years of kobold in high school and I never get a chance to use it.
Zack: Gugbug e Zack. Huggamug e dob discotheque?
If that boy isn't willing to shoot his laser and get you that carbon, he's not worth your time.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.