Steve: Oh, buddy, this is getting me hot.
Zack: She sells sea-shells, 20 dollars, two songs, no touching.
Steve: The 1990s truly were the greatest years of Dungeons & Dragons.
Zack: Yeah, other than Planescape and maybe some Dark Sun stuff it was a wasteland of horrible ideas and unwieldy rules. Remember how mad everybody got about 3E rules actually making the game playable?
Steve: Dude I am not agreeing with any of that. 3E dummed everything down. It was awesome, but because of the production values and stuff. THAC0 was missed. Dearly.
Zack: Steve nobody misses THAC0, not even the dude who invented it.
Steve: Yeah, well, the next time you need a base target number as a statistic that you then adjust positively or negatively based on the cumulative armor value of a dude, let me know, because I know it, and it ain't in the rules.
Zack: I'll put you on my speed dial.
'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'
I've been wanting to meet you all for the past few weeks, but I guess I cut an intimidating figure. I'm the new guy, with the cool job you've all surely been gossiping about. Yep, I'm the Lead Loremaster, and I'm here to enrich everything we do with much-needed lore.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.