Zack: Creating a character for FATAL is so time-consuming that the CD-ROM version of the book ships with a character generator.
Steve: The character sheet in the back is eight pages long. There are three pages or something of just listing skills.
Zack: The good news is that after hours of calculating points and rolling on 50 different random charts you might have a character that is completely worthless. In which case the DM type guy is explicitly told not to give you any breaks. You are forced to play your garbage character until it inevitably dies or start from scratch.
Steve: Maybe someone could just program a computer to play FATAL all die.
Zack: Goop would be coming out of the processor and it would be covered with ants, but before it melted down it would figure out the exact right anal circumference for a k-b-ld seamstress.
Steve: Let's just skip to the part where we stab power drills into our brain to erase the memory of FATAL.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.