The Hieronymus Bosch Award
Zack: This is an illustration from the page facing the entry for these guys. They're called Crabmen and there really isn't anything to them. They're just another stupid bipedal thug for you to hit with a sword.
Steve: Yeah, not really worth including. On the other hand, this illustration is maybe the best thing I have seen in three weeks.
Zack: This is the sort of scene I imagine at the farm where they harvest the meat for chicken nuggets. A cave that looks like something out of Kurosawa's Dreams hosting a bunch of wizards and farmers with swords battling it out with the nuggions.
Steve: Nuggets are chicken dude. It's in the name.
Zack: My theory is just as likely to be true. Have you ever seen a nugget actually coming out of a chicken?
Zack: That's right, and I have never seen one coming out of a Crabman. Equal evidence.
Steve: I don't feel so good.
Zack: Damn, look at that, Crabman is hard on the ladies. I wonder if he's taking that one off to another part of their nightmare cave to make some lady nuggets.
Steve: Ahhh! Shut up!
After years of being misunderstood, I had hoped we finally had "our" story. I was wrong.
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.