Steve: I have to agree with your choice here.
Zack: Picture a windy night. You're tucked in your bed. A branch keeps tap-tapping on your window and casting sinister shadows across your bedroom. Just when you can't take it anymore it stops. Then lightning crashes and there is a beholder pressed up against your window. A huge frigging evil eye peering into your bedroom. Watching you sleep.
Steve: You don't need to sell me. I don't like eyeballs or snakes and this thing can also disintegrate an entire party.
Zack: Alright, pop quiz. If you could have any body part fly away and become giant, which would it be?Steve: Is this flying body part malevolent?
Zack: As the day is long.
Steve: Then I'm going with whatever body part can cause the least damage.
Zack: I'd go tonsils. If one of my body parts has to become evil and fly away I'm going with the one I know I can live without.
Steve: I wonder if Beholders have a Beholder school and the goof-off Beholder has a bunch of monocles with eyes painted on the front so it can sleep while everything thinks it's paying close attention.Zack: The answer to all questions related to Beholder High is, "Yes."
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.