Zack: I went classic monster on this one.
Steve: Solid. It's easy to forget the classics.
Zack: The thing about the manticore is that if it had a monster head it would be much less terrifying. Getting killed by a winged-lion with a dragon head or something would be bad, but when it's a giant old man head tearing into you that's a whole new level of scary.
Steve: I didn't even think about the head.
Zack: Triple-sized grandpa head with shark teeth taking off arms and legs. There's no reasoning with it either, it's like a step above animal. A screaming, giant, frenzied old man head. And you can't get away because it can fly around!
Steve: Ahhh okay I get it!Zack: And it lives in caves for some reason. So all that, plus you just walked up on its huge bone pile and shined a lantern to the back of the cave and it turns its head all pale and bloody and starts screaming AAAAHHH!
Steve: Noooo! No! Ahh!Zack: Roll initiative!
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.