Steve: Before you say anything I really hate toads. They're the messed up frogs.Zack: Toads are the Clint Howard of the pond.
Steve: It's not just the pond, man. You can avoid frogs. There's no avoiding toads. They get around. There are even desert toads.
Zack: I'm sorry, I think it's a lame choice. So far you have picked two giant versions of actual animals.
Steve: The horror is all around us dude. The animal world is an unending nightmare of freaky little things eating each other. I bet right now there's some messed up devil-looking amoeba eating some bacterias on top of your eyeball and you can't even see it.
Zack: I guess I have seen one of those videos of a Pac Man frog swallowing a mouse whole.
Steve: Yeah see that's the way the animal kingdom works. Animals are crazy. They'll eat their own babies and stuff like that. You've got to watch it around animals.
Zack: But Steve, we're animals.
Steve: And you get to the last page of the article and the monster is a mirror!!
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.