Steve: Before you say anything I really hate toads. They're the messed up frogs.Zack: Toads are the Clint Howard of the pond.
Steve: It's not just the pond, man. You can avoid frogs. There's no avoiding toads. They get around. There are even desert toads.
Zack: I'm sorry, I think it's a lame choice. So far you have picked two giant versions of actual animals.
Steve: The horror is all around us dude. The animal world is an unending nightmare of freaky little things eating each other. I bet right now there's some messed up devil-looking amoeba eating some bacterias on top of your eyeball and you can't even see it.
Zack: I guess I have seen one of those videos of a Pac Man frog swallowing a mouse whole.
Steve: Yeah see that's the way the animal kingdom works. Animals are crazy. They'll eat their own babies and stuff like that. You've got to watch it around animals.
Zack: But Steve, we're animals.
Steve: And you get to the last page of the article and the monster is a mirror!!
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.