Zack: Alright everybody, I hope you have a good look, because this is what happens when you text while driving.
Lowtax: You turn into the corpse of Mikhail Gorbachev?
Zack: Yes, with a side of curly fingers.
Lowtax: He's carrying concealed.
Zack: Concealed carry would be much easier in a society that embraced capes once more.
Lowtax: What's he have to worry about anyway? I mean, he's sharing a fantasy world with prancing gay skeletons and spiders that unlock your doors.
Lowtax: He knows NOTHING about the US.
Zack: Uh, I don't know, how about Illegals.
Zack: Filling up our tombs. Stealing all our headstones.
Zack: Prancing for half as much as an American skeleton.
Zack: They don't pay for their Nintendos. We do.
Lowtax: "They offered to put a skull on my two books for HALF the price of a white skeleton"
Lowtax: Wait, how did undead Mikhail Gorbachev turn into the chubby naked white demon man?
Zack: Mexican book builders and Chinese microscopes.
Zack: He's not the same, he just has the same problems.
Lowtax: So according to you, only racists die and come back to life.
Zack: Is it racist to be proud of your own race though? Why isn't there an Undead Entertainment Television?
Lowtax: There is one. It's in creepy chubby uncle's basement.
Zack: The robot films it.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
U2 and Apple have conspired to place a U2 album into your music in the year 2014. You own a U2 album. And you can't get rid of it.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.