Zack: Alright everybody, I hope you have a good look, because this is what happens when you text while driving.
Lowtax: You turn into the corpse of Mikhail Gorbachev?
Zack: Yes, with a side of curly fingers.
Lowtax: He's carrying concealed.
Zack: Concealed carry would be much easier in a society that embraced capes once more.
Lowtax: What's he have to worry about anyway? I mean, he's sharing a fantasy world with prancing gay skeletons and spiders that unlock your doors.
Lowtax: He knows NOTHING about the US.
Zack: Uh, I don't know, how about Illegals.
Zack: Filling up our tombs. Stealing all our headstones.
Zack: Prancing for half as much as an American skeleton.
Zack: They don't pay for their Nintendos. We do.
Lowtax: "They offered to put a skull on my two books for HALF the price of a white skeleton"
Lowtax: Wait, how did undead Mikhail Gorbachev turn into the chubby naked white demon man?
Zack: Mexican book builders and Chinese microscopes.
Zack: He's not the same, he just has the same problems.
Lowtax: So according to you, only racists die and come back to life.
Zack: Is it racist to be proud of your own race though? Why isn't there an Undead Entertainment Television?
Lowtax: There is one. It's in creepy chubby uncle's basement.
Zack: The robot films it.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
It's time we stop tolerating lawlessness in our cities and coddling these criminals. Twenty seconds to comply is too long for ED-209 to get the job done.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.