Lowtax: "OH GOD THE SNAKES STOLE ALL MY DOORS AND ARE GETTING AWAY!!"
Zack: I'm waiting for them to be pursued through an ominous doorway by cops and then come out chasing the cops in a more distant ominous doorway.
Lowtax: This is one of those fake perspective images, the hallway really only extends two feet. The entrance at the end is 3 inches tall.
Lowtax: We're looking inside Barbie's Nightmare Cottage
Zack: That would be much better than what I was thinking: the hallway needs a brazilian.
Zack: It's summer, Rich. You can't go to the beach with tentacles sticking out of your bikini.
Lowtax: But my bikini is actually just a wad of tentacles
Zack: What do you think the title of this masterpiece might be?
Zack: I'm thinking "Worst room service at shittiest hotel."
Lowtax: "I'll Get Better"
Zack: "Flip this hell house"
Lowtax: I guess it really doesn't matter that the snakes stole his doors since the spider already stole his key.
Zack: And really, what is a head on a stack of books going to do with all those doors anyway?
Lowtax: The undead are hoarders!
Lowtax: The undead hoard.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.