Zack: I'd love to see J. Jonah Jameson call Fay Jones into his office and just tear her shit up over this piece of garbage.
Steve: Seems like maybe a Magic card was the worst place to showcase her art.
Zack: "Jones! Get in here! What the hell is this? I come into my office and there's an envelope full of dog crap sitting on my desk and your name is on it! What is this supposed to be, something Fellini painted on the wall of his kid's nursery? We're in the business of selling magic cards here, Jones. Fan-ta-see. I want you to take this paint pot 101 community college drip drop out of here and make me something with at least three wizards on it. And an orc. In ten minutes."
Steve: She better be back in nine minutes with a picture of Spider Man doing something way awesome with some wizards.
Zack: Fay Jones, if you're reading this, I'm sure you're a wonderful artist, but imagine some 12 year old tearing open a pack of Magic cards with fevered excitement, imagining Pit Fiends and Shivan Dragons and all sorts of cool spells, and they wind up with this bullshit. Don't you feel a little bit guilty?
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.