Zack: I'd love to see J. Jonah Jameson call Fay Jones into his office and just tear her shit up over this piece of garbage.
Steve: Seems like maybe a Magic card was the worst place to showcase her art.
Zack: "Jones! Get in here! What the hell is this? I come into my office and there's an envelope full of dog crap sitting on my desk and your name is on it! What is this supposed to be, something Fellini painted on the wall of his kid's nursery? We're in the business of selling magic cards here, Jones. Fan-ta-see. I want you to take this paint pot 101 community college drip drop out of here and make me something with at least three wizards on it. And an orc. In ten minutes."
Steve: She better be back in nine minutes with a picture of Spider Man doing something way awesome with some wizards.
Zack: Fay Jones, if you're reading this, I'm sure you're a wonderful artist, but imagine some 12 year old tearing open a pack of Magic cards with fevered excitement, imagining Pit Fiends and Shivan Dragons and all sorts of cool spells, and they wind up with this bullshit. Don't you feel a little bit guilty?
If that boy isn't willing to shoot his laser and get you that carbon, he's not worth your time.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.