Zack: All of the text on the card is literally about trees fucking.
Steve: Do Not Summon Treefolk.
Zack: Treefolk outside groaning all night dropping pine cones on my car. If they do it again tonight I'm setting fire to front yard.
Steve: I tried turning the hose on them but they just did it more!!
Zack: I hear if you lay some stumps out in your yard it will scare them off.
Steve: Yeah, that's great until you get one of those real sicko trees. Then you wake up and the stumps are covered in sap.
Zack: Nature is horrible. That's the lesson here. Do not meddle with nature.
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.