Zack: All of the text on the card is literally about trees fucking.

Steve: Do Not Summon Treefolk.

Zack: Treefolk outside groaning all night dropping pine cones on my car. If they do it again tonight I'm setting fire to front yard.

Steve: I tried turning the hose on them but they just did it more!!

Zack: I hear if you lay some stumps out in your yard it will scare them off.

Steve: Yeah, that's great until you get one of those real sicko trees. Then you wake up and the stumps are covered in sap.

Zack: Nature is horrible. That's the lesson here. Do not meddle with nature.

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    ‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.

  • Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.