Zack: We did it! By God, we burrowed our way to the end!
Steve: Out of hundreds of cards I feel like we barely started with Alpha.
Zack: We can be choosy. There are thousands more Magic cards waiting for us.
Steve: I don't want to do these anymore. You're ruining Magic with your negativity.
Zack: If I were a card I would be the ultimate annoying card you'd want to fill your deck with to piss everyone off.
Steve: I just want to have fun playing games. There's nothing wrong with that.
Zack: Unless you random-dialed a computer that mistakes you for Dr. Falken.
Steve: Or you throw your headset at the wall because you just got a kill cam with a hatchet hitting you in the back.
Zack: AAAARGH!Steve: It's okay! I know! The controller was broken!
Zack: Like your face will be.
In a Something Awful exclusive, we reveal the true state of Darren Wilson after his harrowing encounter with Michael Brown.
gee, sun, thanks for life and warmth and light. you totally did it on purpose and aren't just a stupid exploding deathtrap
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.