Zack: We did it! By God, we burrowed our way to the end!
Steve: Out of hundreds of cards I feel like we barely started with Alpha.
Zack: We can be choosy. There are thousands more Magic cards waiting for us.
Steve: I don't want to do these anymore. You're ruining Magic with your negativity.
Zack: If I were a card I would be the ultimate annoying card you'd want to fill your deck with to piss everyone off.
Steve: I just want to have fun playing games. There's nothing wrong with that.
Zack: Unless you random-dialed a computer that mistakes you for Dr. Falken.
Steve: Or you throw your headset at the wall because you just got a kill cam with a hatchet hitting you in the back.
Zack: AAAARGH!Steve: It's okay! I know! The controller was broken!
Zack: Like your face will be.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.