Steve: This thing is pretty awesome. It's a tornado that can punch you.
Zack: Or it can jerk you off.
Steve: There isn't any proof it can do that.
Zack: I've heard stories about the big one. The monster tornado. The city killer.
Zack: An F5 will rub your pud raw.
Steve: An F5 can put a piece of straw through a stop sign.
Zack: Exactly, imagine what that could do to your unit.
Steve: It could punch it for 4D6+7 damage.
Zack: That's why I never tip.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.