Steve: This thing is pretty awesome. It's a tornado that can punch you.
Zack: Or it can jerk you off.
Steve: There isn't any proof it can do that.
Zack: I've heard stories about the big one. The monster tornado. The city killer.
Zack: An F5 will rub your pud raw.
Steve: An F5 can put a piece of straw through a stop sign.
Zack: Exactly, imagine what that could do to your unit.
Steve: It could punch it for 4D6+7 damage.
Zack: That's why I never tip.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.