Steve: This thing is pretty awesome. It's a tornado that can punch you.
Zack: Or it can jerk you off.
Steve: There isn't any proof it can do that.
Zack: I've heard stories about the big one. The monster tornado. The city killer.
Zack: An F5 will rub your pud raw.
Steve: An F5 can put a piece of straw through a stop sign.
Zack: Exactly, imagine what that could do to your unit.
Steve: It could punch it for 4D6+7 damage.
Zack: That's why I never tip.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.