Steve: Sure I have a billion fangs in a box in my magic lab and I want them to run around and get all over everything.
Zack: No doubt. Gross beast teeth dragged all over your sofa, making scratches in the parquet, fanging up the door begging to be let out.
Steve: Wizards are the worst guys. They're like those guys on the Internet who make sex toys out of stuff you can buy at Home Depot.
Zack: I don't really like where this is headed.
Steve: All I mean is that wizards will turn anything into a golem.
Zack: I don't know about fangs, but you can bet if I had the power to imbue life to piles of objects I would be figuring out ways to hump it.
Steve: And that is why the age of magic is at an end.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.