Steve: Sure I have a billion fangs in a box in my magic lab and I want them to run around and get all over everything.
Zack: No doubt. Gross beast teeth dragged all over your sofa, making scratches in the parquet, fanging up the door begging to be let out.
Steve: Wizards are the worst guys. They're like those guys on the Internet who make sex toys out of stuff you can buy at Home Depot.
Zack: I don't really like where this is headed.
Steve: All I mean is that wizards will turn anything into a golem.
Zack: I don't know about fangs, but you can bet if I had the power to imbue life to piles of objects I would be figuring out ways to hump it.
Steve: And that is why the age of magic is at an end.
Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!
Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.
The famed gonzo otaku journalist writes about the death of gaming culture in 2014.
Try not to break your console while I try not to break my cyber brain.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.