Zack: Evil squirrels. I don't know about you, Steve, but I've been desperately trying to figure out how to base a whole campaign around squirrels.
Steve: We had a squirrel in our backyard last year that used to bite ducks.
Zack: Why didn't the ducks just fly away?
Steve: Next to Canada Geese, ducks are the number one animal with a sense of entitlement. They know they're hot crud and they like to show off, but they expect to win.
Zack: So what did you do with your duckbiter Skiurid?
Steve: I didn't go outside basically the whole time that squirrel was out there. Which is good because I am very fair skinned.
Zack: A hallmark of goodness.
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.