Zack: Evil squirrels. I don't know about you, Steve, but I've been desperately trying to figure out how to base a whole campaign around squirrels.
Steve: We had a squirrel in our backyard last year that used to bite ducks.
Zack: Why didn't the ducks just fly away?
Steve: Next to Canada Geese, ducks are the number one animal with a sense of entitlement. They know they're hot crud and they like to show off, but they expect to win.
Zack: So what did you do with your duckbiter Skiurid?
Steve: I didn't go outside basically the whole time that squirrel was out there. Which is good because I am very fair skinned.
Zack: A hallmark of goodness.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Lamentations of the Flame Princess: Grindhouse Edition (2011)
- Battletech Loves the 80's
- Magic the Gathering: Arabian Nights (1993) and Antiquities (1994)
- Rifts Worldbook 10: Juicer Uprising (1996)
- Magic the Gathering: Alpha (original set, 1993)