Steve: More robots need full beards and mustaches.

Zack: "Gnomes again!?" *pushes plate away in disgust* "Hang on there, Timmy. This ain't your grandpa's gnome."

Steve: My grandpa's gnome got shot off in the war.

Zack: He's been so lonely ever since grandma died and he likes the way he can see it standing in the dark corner staring at him with those dead, black doll eyes.

Steve: Then one day it starts reading books really fast and it totally blames you for all the violence and evil in the world because it saw "murder" in a dictionary.

Zack: The auto-gnome is what happens when the monster planning meeting goes wrong. One guy wants another giant worm, another guy wants a sexy spirit that lures unwary travelers to their doom, and then the bee man guy filibusters and they're left compromising with the gnome robot.

Steve: It takes the same sort of thing happening in the DM's brain to end up with an auto-gnome encounter.

Zack: "You think you see a gnome, but you also hear a sound like a pulley. Yet, there are no pulleys in the room...or are there?!?!?!"

Steve: Wheels within wheels.

Zack: Attached to the pulleys.

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.

  • Helping Your Real Friends Move

    Helping Your Real Friends Move

    A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.