Zack: Do you think he likes bats?
Steve: Now this dude I am down with. Giant swords and wicked bone dudes are a hallmark of great fantasy artwork.
Zack: They had you at glowing-eyed skeletons.
Steve: Skeleton armies commanded by wicked wizard skeletons are a powerful image that connect with our primordial fears of our skeletons being evil. They're just waiting for us to die to start forming their army.
Zack: Clever, waiting until we least expect it.
Steve: And of course bats are also evil, because you can't trust a bird that only comes out at night.
Zack: Couple things there: a bat is not a bird, it's a mammal, and lots of birds come out at night. Like all owls.
Steve: Never trust an owl.
Zack: What about with Tootsie Pop related inquiries?
Steve: That's nasty you want an owl licking your Tootsie Pop? Getting his owl tongue all over it and then beak-biting that thing? Gross.
Zack: When you put it like that, it does sound evil.
After years of being misunderstood, I had hoped we finally had "our" story. I was wrong.
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.