Zack: Do you think he likes bats?
Steve: Now this dude I am down with. Giant swords and wicked bone dudes are a hallmark of great fantasy artwork.
Zack: They had you at glowing-eyed skeletons.
Steve: Skeleton armies commanded by wicked wizard skeletons are a powerful image that connect with our primordial fears of our skeletons being evil. They're just waiting for us to die to start forming their army.
Zack: Clever, waiting until we least expect it.
Steve: And of course bats are also evil, because you can't trust a bird that only comes out at night.
Zack: Couple things there: a bat is not a bird, it's a mammal, and lots of birds come out at night. Like all owls.
Steve: Never trust an owl.
Zack: What about with Tootsie Pop related inquiries?
Steve: That's nasty you want an owl licking your Tootsie Pop? Getting his owl tongue all over it and then beak-biting that thing? Gross.
Zack: When you put it like that, it does sound evil.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.