Steve: Even the babes are grim and dark.
Zack: I get this feeling she spent hours arranging that little tableaux at the foot of the bed. "Pitcher full of venom or cursed candles? Skull in the middle? No. Brad is going to be so turned on when he sees my evil face dresser."
Steve: The mound of skulls on the headboard has to be juuuust right.
Zack: "Alright, alright, you can come in now!"
Steve: "Oh, uh, wow it looks nice. I really, uh, that's a nice color of paint on the wall. What is that?"
Zack: "Nice? You think my rotting meat wall is NICE?"
Steve: If you had a date with an evil grim babe what would you even bring her? Like the blackest most dried out flowers sticking out of a baby skeleton?
Zack: A moldy rat scrotum full of centipedes.
Steve: Bats in guts.
Zack: B*A*P*S in bapes.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.