Steve: Even the babes are grim and dark.
Zack: I get this feeling she spent hours arranging that little tableaux at the foot of the bed. "Pitcher full of venom or cursed candles? Skull in the middle? No. Brad is going to be so turned on when he sees my evil face dresser."
Steve: The mound of skulls on the headboard has to be juuuust right.
Zack: "Alright, alright, you can come in now!"
Steve: "Oh, uh, wow it looks nice. I really, uh, that's a nice color of paint on the wall. What is that?"
Zack: "Nice? You think my rotting meat wall is NICE?"
Steve: If you had a date with an evil grim babe what would you even bring her? Like the blackest most dried out flowers sticking out of a baby skeleton?
Zack: A moldy rat scrotum full of centipedes.
Steve: Bats in guts.
Zack: B*A*P*S in bapes.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.