Steve: Even the babes are grim and dark.
Zack: I get this feeling she spent hours arranging that little tableaux at the foot of the bed. "Pitcher full of venom or cursed candles? Skull in the middle? No. Brad is going to be so turned on when he sees my evil face dresser."
Steve: The mound of skulls on the headboard has to be juuuust right.
Zack: "Alright, alright, you can come in now!"
Steve: "Oh, uh, wow it looks nice. I really, uh, that's a nice color of paint on the wall. What is that?"
Zack: "Nice? You think my rotting meat wall is NICE?"
Steve: If you had a date with an evil grim babe what would you even bring her? Like the blackest most dried out flowers sticking out of a baby skeleton?
Zack: A moldy rat scrotum full of centipedes.
Steve: Bats in guts.
Zack: B*A*P*S in bapes.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.