Zack: I love White Wolf.
Steve: I don't think you really do but okay, why?
Zack: Only White Wolf can create this reality where people are thousands of years old, commune with bird headed gods, spend centuries as ghosts in alternate dimensions, experience the agony of death and rebirth and then the end result looks like Bunny Lebowski going to a rave.
Steve: Dude not every deathless demigod of ancient times has to be all serious 24/7. They've got to have fun too.
Zack: Can you imagine how fucked up you would be if that happened to you? You're the son of a pharaoh in the land of pyramids and you drop dead one day and you spend 2,000 years flying around with Anubis busting ghosts or whatever he does and then you pop back up and some fat guy is texting in a Sbarro.
Zack: How do you deal with that?
Steve: It's a two step process. Step one is buy a cute outfit and a novelty lunch box. Step two is the yelling and making sand tornadoes part.Zack: Let's just skip to step two.
Steve: Sorry, Big Red section, but the lunch boxes and using computers part you can read about just fine.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.