Lowtax:: Isn't this concept art from the gritty reboot of "Splatterhouse?"
Lowtax:: I'm assuming the concept was "CRAP."
Lowtax:: LEAD ARTIST: "PAINT CRAP."
Zack: It's a sample of custom flooring for the torso ripper's mansion.
Lowtax:: Yeah, I was just gonna ask: is this an overhead view?
Zack: "Every other tile will feature a torso I ripped."
Lowtax:: "Yes they will have prancing hands. Why do you even have to ask?"
Zack: When you die, your hands naturally assume the prancing position. Even if you've been torso-ripped.
Lowtax:: "If you have a skeleton inside or outside of you, your hands are gonna prance. That's just science 101."
Lowtax:: "Now dump Two Face on the grape rock candy and let's move on."
Zack: Two Face's head is baffling. It looks like he has meat on the inside of his skull.
Lowtax:: It's dirt. Inside every good man is a good amount of dirt.
Lowtax:: And prance hands.
Zack: "Load sixteens tons and what do you get, new torso laminate flooring and deeper in debt."
Lowtax:: - Kurt Cobain
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.