Zack: I almost hate to say this, but I think we need to take a minute to reflect on the greatness of Kevin Siembieda's artwork.
Steve: His robots are awesome.
Zack: I wouldn't go that far, but as a counterpoint to that I offer you some people.
Steve: What's wrong with that? Badass trench coats. Those Green Lantern masks. Cyborg stuff. Evil eyes. What's not to like here? You can totally see some badass scenario about to go down right here. Like the cyborg guy's path is blocked by the Mask Gang and he looks back and there's a lady with a chain and a guy in a trenchcoat and a tophat behind him.
Zack: Detectives in Neo Tokyo will have to act quickly to unravel what happened to a cyborg man with Peter Weller cheekbones in...the First 48.
Steve: See, the best artwork makes your imagination run wild. Gritty urban streets and future cops on the beat. Cyborg intrigues and Japanese robo gangs.
Zack: Dogs in power armor and bathtubs full of skulls. A helicopter shaped like a dragon fighting a giant cockroach with smaller robot cockroaches coming out of its butt.
Steve: That stuff didn't happen!
Zack: No, but this did:
Zack: Don't thank me, thank Kevin Siembieda circa 1995. A fine vintage of creepy bearded Asian man.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.