Zack: This is Colombia's indigenous D-30 "Conquistador" Power Armor.
Steve: Notttt quite as cool as the skulls, guys.Zack: I wonder if the Colombians go as crazy with the conquistador aesthetic as the Coalition goes with the skulls.
Steve: You know there is a cyber dog with a conquistador head somewhere.
Zack: Conquistador climbs down off conquistador shaped hover bike and walks into conquistador shaped restaurant to eat a conquistador shaped sandwich.
Steve: I just noticed the stripes on this thing. Is it wearing a referee jersey?
Zack: It's getting ready to issue a red card to a giant bug man for sliding into a dinosaur robot.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.