On March 20th, we introduced our 1990s era Call of Cthulhu contest based around our imaginary module "Hard Ticket to Baghdad." Readers were asked to submit art loosely themed around the 1990s, Call of Cthulhu and, in honor of Ultimate Warrior, professional wrestlers. We will be playing this imaginary module in the near future, but today we announce the contest winners and celebrate some of the other entries. As always, a big thanks to everyone who submitted an entry to the contest, even the guy who sent us an MS-Paint drawing of a dick. It was just what we needed.
Zack: Steve, are you as excited as I am about announcing the winners of our contest?Steve: I am probably more excited than you about everything. You've accused me of being excitable before.
Zack: You have to admit, that time you realized that White Castle has a breakfast menu.
Steve: They have toast sandwiches dude. And breakfast sliders with eggs. I bet I could eat fifteen of those things.
Zack: They say that every whole egg you eat takes a day off your life, I'm guessing that with egg sliders they mean you spend the whole day on the toilet.
Steve: Yeah, real nice, dude. Welcome everyone to our big contest with a bunch of nasty bathroom jokes. How do you expect our memes to go viral?
Zack: We just keep creating content and hoping for the best.
Zack: Which is what you're doing whenever you eat a breakfast slider.
Steve: Ohhhh man, let's just get on with it.
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.