It comes as no surprise that the junk drawer of role playing games features a lot of stray and silly character classes for players to choose. If you own every Rifts book - and we don't have anywhere near a complete collection - you probably know that every single one of these includes at least one new character class. Sometimes they make sense and are just themed around the book's subject matter. Sometimes they are frigging ridiculous. Today, Steve and Zack have each picked three idiotic characters and put them head to head to decide which one is the stupidest, most useless character. They avoided combining silly races with silly occupations and just stuck to the core of stupid.
Steve: This was a lot of fun.
Zack: Yeah, nothing better than spending half my weekend paging through Rifts books looking for stupid things.
Zack: Oh, wait, I found them. They are all stupid things.
Steve: An empire of skulls? Killing vampires with squirt guns? Two books for Canada?
Zack: You're making my points for me here, Steve.
Steve: This might be an easy battle. Let's hope you're able to pluck the diamonds of stupid out of what you think is an ocean of stupid.
Zack: Less an ocean, more of a kid's sandbox that the cat has been in, but yes, I have plucked the stupid turds from the sand castle.
Zack: Now you go first.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.