Steve's Stupidest #2
Ansel the Worldly Sasquatch
From Rifts Worldbook 20 Canada
Steve: Live the dream with Ansel, the Worldly Sasquatch. The dream of being a sasquatch I mean.
Steve: This benign giant roams the Pacific Northwest searching for his lost mate Patty who was taken by slavers many moons ago. Since she was captured, he has embraced modern society and now he drives a truck and wields a laser shotgun.
Zack: There's a laser shotgun in Rifts?
Steve: I mean, I didn't actually look it up, but I think I can say with certainty that yes, there is a laser shotgun.
Steve: Oh and also he is psychic.
Zack: Wait, psychic? That sounds suspiciously useful.
Steve: You would think, but check out one of his main powers:
Zack: Seems like a lot of sasquatches would get jobs at racetracks. You know, in case every watch and phone and every other time keeping device out of the hundreds at the racetrack broke.
Steve: I don't think he would even be very good at that because he is always off by 1D4 seconds. So like, it's a psychic power that's way worse than a five dollar stop watch.
Zack: Oh, man, this one is going to be hard to beat.
This is your typical consumer model throne. If you just want a cheap prop, it's fine. If you want to actually sit like a king, pony up the cash and get yourself a prosumer model. This entry level stuff is more for a duke or baron at best.
Do you wish to know what computers will be doing in the year to come? With a sigh I shall exert the minimal effort it takes to reveal all. Feel free to print out these predictions and share them with your friends via fax.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.