Zack: Neptune, uh, you really need to take that off before you get in the water.
Steve: I'm trying to imagine what an electric girdle would do. Like an electric blanket that you wrap around waist?
Zack: You're just sailing along minding your own business, when suddenly your ship comes upon a soiled girdle floating atop the waves. It crackles menacingly.
Steve: Steer away from it. No amount of abdominal support is worth the price Neptune demands.
Zack: Some of the other ones seem like encounters you might not notice having. I don't think a boat is going to pay much heed to a sea slug.
Steve: They might take it seriously if it buys a rail gun.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
U2 and Apple have conspired to place a U2 album into your music in the year 2014. You own a U2 album. And you can't get rid of it.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.