Steve: The provisions chapter in Synnibarr is one of my favorites. You've got like rope and a lantern and then later in the chapter are spaceships and missiles that can destroy everything in a 25-mile radius.
Zack: "Yes, I will take one mule, a length of twine, two cups of oats and a missile that can destroy a city."
Steve: You can also be a dwarf who buys a rail gun to fight a were dragon.
Zack: So if a dragon bites you then you turn into a dragon?
Steve: No, if a were dragon bites you then you turn into a were dragon.
Zack: What if the dwarf is bit by the were dragon on board his spaceship? Would he turn into a dwarf were dragon?
Steve: There are no rules for dwarf were dragons so I guess I would say you die.
Zack: Somewhere is a little person who is furious at being discriminated against by the rules of Synnibarr.
Steve: But the dude has a spaceship and a rail gun so that should keep him happy.
Zack: He shouldn't have to settle, Steve!
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.