Steve: I guess when you got it, flaunt it. And by "it" I do of course mean deadly sword-fighting skills and intellect.
Zack: She should be careful swinging that sword around like that she is liable to cut off her everything.
Steve: When you think about it, it's actually pretty practical.
Zack: Right, that will come in handy if she needs a bib and a chainmail merkin for some reason.
Steve: Yeah but that's like good mobility so you can do sword moves.
Zack: I don't know if I can fully comprehend your argument because of these technical terms you are throwing around. What are "sword moves"?
Steve: Like a chop and a stab, maybe a swing and then an opposite direction swing. You know, brutal sword moves, executed with precision. If she was wearing something more constricting like a kevlar vest she could not swing around as well.
Zack: Yes, if she were wearing a traditional swordfighter's kevlar vest she might have trouble with her chop.
Zack: And her boobs would not fly all over the place like a couple of oranges wearing a wig.
Steve: That is also a consideration.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.