Zack: This room is very similar to the room you just left. Same interior decorating. There is more of an emphasis on workspace in here, with large tables and lots of stoppered jars and scales and various cauldrons.
Steve: No monsters?
Zack: No, but Nikka points to a particularly large jar and says, "Hey, check it out, jar cat." Sure enough, the jar contains a black cat suspended lifeless in clear liquid.
Steve: I dare him to drink the cat.
Zack: "Shut up, fatty, I bet you want to drink it, tat stuff!" the cat says.
Steve: I throw the jar onto the ground in anger.
Zack: The jar shatters and the black cat suddenly awakens. It meows loudly and bolts off through the open door.Steve: Weird. Is there any treasure?
Zack: Not really, but the baby and Nikka collect enough reagents to make a few more ESP potions.
Steve: Are there any doors?
Zack: Not that you can detect. Back out through the other room the hallway continued to the north.
Steve: Heading north then.Zack: The hallway branches to the right or continues north.
Steve: Continue north.Zack: The hallway branches to the left or continues north a little further.
Steve: I'll turn left this time.
Zack: You follow various twists and turns into a sort of hallways cul-de-sac area. The hallway dead-ends ahead, but there is a door on the right.
Steve: Opening the door.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.