Zack: This brother and sister duo from the same team as Constitution is known as Stars and Stripes.
Steve: How do I know which is which?
Zack: They also appear to have bags on their...are those feet?Steve: Possibly yams in condoms.
Zack: I approve of the inclusion of Asians in our patriotic, All-American super hero team. Americans will accept any race or creed, so long as you have insane nationalistic fervor and dress head-to-toe in a flag.
Steve: You also must have tiny genitals that are not at all visible through skin tight clothing.
Zack: Carol is going to tell your mom you were staring at dicks again.
Evil Cooper and Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov have both been on a rampage, but who did what?
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.