Steve: That's ominous.
Zack: I bet this image would focus group worse than a swastika with the n-word beneath it.
Zack: "What did you call me?! It's SLO-mo, motherfucker!"
Steve: I think this dude's abs have abs.
Zack: He had an eagle implanted under his skin.
Steve: This guy has the same crazy muscles. Is that like some secret muscle group I didn't know about?
Zack: It's the Palladiumplexus.
Steve: If you want to get pumped up you have to create a definition location table and assign pumpedness ratings to all your muscle groups.
Zack: Along with several detachable missile launchers and at least one part of your body that can be described as "vibro."Steve: Come to Siembieda's Gym, men made entirely out of pouches with crazy penis heads welcome.
Zack: We'll turn your R.C.C. into an O.C.C. the hard way: by turning your race into a mutation that you can receive from super-science. Glansmen inherently pilot dirigibles, what of it?
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.