Steve: That's ominous.
Zack: I bet this image would focus group worse than a swastika with the n-word beneath it.
Zack: "What did you call me?! It's SLO-mo, motherfucker!"
Steve: I think this dude's abs have abs.
Zack: He had an eagle implanted under his skin.
Steve: This guy has the same crazy muscles. Is that like some secret muscle group I didn't know about?
Zack: It's the Palladiumplexus.
Steve: If you want to get pumped up you have to create a definition location table and assign pumpedness ratings to all your muscle groups.
Zack: Along with several detachable missile launchers and at least one part of your body that can be described as "vibro."Steve: Come to Siembieda's Gym, men made entirely out of pouches with crazy penis heads welcome.
Zack: We'll turn your R.C.C. into an O.C.C. the hard way: by turning your race into a mutation that you can receive from super-science. Glansmen inherently pilot dirigibles, what of it?
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.