You've probably heard a lot about the "War on Christmas" in the past few years, but there's more to it than you'd ever learn from the liberal media, or even from the purported real-talkers at FOX News. It turns out the "War on Christmas" is a literal war with guns and death and such. Like anything described as "literally happening" in recent times, it is, in fact, literally happening, which is why the meaning of the word "literally" has changed through common usage to mean "the thing after this word is absolutely true no matter what." Tip bravely unveiled indisputable photojournalistic proof, inspiring the GBS 2.1 Goons to spend the weekend before Christmas embedded on the front lines!

Tip

Tip

Mustard Snobbery

klaivu

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.