Zack: That wraith is way not into this. "I've got a sword, but if you want me to actually swing it around that is going to cost extra."
Steve: He reminds me of this crossing guard that works the crosswalk every morning for the kids by my house. I don't know what his deal is, but he's always cocking his hip to one side and holding the sign all lazy. He also wears hoodies, so I guess pretty much if his eyes could glow that would be dead on.
Zack: WRAITH AND ASPARAGUS ELEMENTAL.
Steve: I thought you said Asperger's Elemental.
Zack: I think you mean Autism Spectrum Elemental. Either way, that would be horrifying.
Steve: You would have to conjure it from the negative energy plane.
Zack: Composed of a churning column of Legos and Gamefaqs arguments, his attacks include failure to empathize, watch some anime, watch some more anime, mom I want fucking pizza, and a blistering critique of any female party members' physiques.
Steve: Those dudes do not have any idea what to do with babes.
Zack: Oh, they have ideas, and they're uploading them to their B/T/K blog.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
What do you do when The Dark Knight himself pulls a boner?
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.