Zack: That wraith is way not into this. "I've got a sword, but if you want me to actually swing it around that is going to cost extra."
Steve: He reminds me of this crossing guard that works the crosswalk every morning for the kids by my house. I don't know what his deal is, but he's always cocking his hip to one side and holding the sign all lazy. He also wears hoodies, so I guess pretty much if his eyes could glow that would be dead on.
Zack: WRAITH AND ASPARAGUS ELEMENTAL.
Steve: I thought you said Asperger's Elemental.
Zack: I think you mean Autism Spectrum Elemental. Either way, that would be horrifying.
Steve: You would have to conjure it from the negative energy plane.
Zack: Composed of a churning column of Legos and Gamefaqs arguments, his attacks include failure to empathize, watch some anime, watch some more anime, mom I want fucking pizza, and a blistering critique of any female party members' physiques.
Steve: Those dudes do not have any idea what to do with babes.
Zack: Oh, they have ideas, and they're uploading them to their B/T/K blog.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.