Steve: Yo, this is OG D&D style right here. Name randomly jammed in there and ridiculous old lady with no pants riding a horse.
Zack: Somebody, presumably a human, looked at this image and said, "Yes, that's good. Let's put it in the front of our book."
Steve: Maybe that sort of quality control explains why there are multiple pages of naval combat rules and minimal character creation information.
Zack: Poor quality control can't explain why they decided to devote nearly an entire page to egotistical swords.
Steve: "Yeah, I had a pretty sweet sword until it made me find some weakass punk and then it gave itself to him."
Zack: Magic sword divas get a page, describing clerics gets one paragraph.
Steve: Actually, that sounds about right. Boring church people vs. magical swords that talk and scheme against you. My bad, Gygax.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.