Steve: Yo, this is OG D&D style right here. Name randomly jammed in there and ridiculous old lady with no pants riding a horse.
Zack: Somebody, presumably a human, looked at this image and said, "Yes, that's good. Let's put it in the front of our book."
Steve: Maybe that sort of quality control explains why there are multiple pages of naval combat rules and minimal character creation information.
Zack: Poor quality control can't explain why they decided to devote nearly an entire page to egotistical swords.
Steve: "Yeah, I had a pretty sweet sword until it made me find some weakass punk and then it gave itself to him."
Zack: Magic sword divas get a page, describing clerics gets one paragraph.
Steve: Actually, that sounds about right. Boring church people vs. magical swords that talk and scheme against you. My bad, Gygax.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Did you know that you only use 10% of your brain? You may have heard that before. But what if you could use 100%? YOU CAN!
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.