Steve: Yo, this is OG D&D style right here. Name randomly jammed in there and ridiculous old lady with no pants riding a horse.
Zack: Somebody, presumably a human, looked at this image and said, "Yes, that's good. Let's put it in the front of our book."
Steve: Maybe that sort of quality control explains why there are multiple pages of naval combat rules and minimal character creation information.
Zack: Poor quality control can't explain why they decided to devote nearly an entire page to egotistical swords.
Steve: "Yeah, I had a pretty sweet sword until it made me find some weakass punk and then it gave itself to him."
Zack: Magic sword divas get a page, describing clerics gets one paragraph.
Steve: Actually, that sounds about right. Boring church people vs. magical swords that talk and scheme against you. My bad, Gygax.
Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.
This lousy world just gets lousier every year as these stores put out their skeletons and Santas in summer.
Try not to break your console while I try not to break my cyber brain.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.