Zack: We combed through a stack of Traveller books for these crappy pictures and way too many of them had pages like this one.
Steve: The game here is try to figure out what all that stuff means. I think one of those columns is for atmosphere composition of planets.
Zack: The one to the left of that is a list of lottery numbers.Steve: One column is just "Ma" over and over.
Zack: I think I figured out two of them. Hexadecimal color values and geo-caching coordinates.
Steve: Dog man down there is gonna be amazed at what we find buried next to the rock shaped like a wiener.
Zack: Yes! One of those plasma spheres you can buy at Sharper Image!
Steve: Welcome to the amazing technological future, dude. It's a lot like winning the lottery.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.