Zack: The room is clearly a training room for Joe Rogan. The letter R is painted on one wall and surrounded by a wicked Affliction-style picture of an eagle. Posters of various UFC fighters decorate the walls and there are two tanning beds, a sensory deprivation tank and a large bin filled with salt-like crystals. The bin is labeled "SALVIA AND DMT."
Steve: I ask the wizards if they can make any potions out of the ingredients in the bin.
Zack: "Yes," says the baby wizad, "but it will take some time. You should probably tear through some reps on the Bowflex and see if you can work on that muffin top."
Steve: "The only bow I flex will be the bow of archery and, be ye wee or not, the arrow will be aimed at you!"
Zack: Grumbling, they set about distilling the bin ingredients, along with basil and water from the isolation tank, into a bubbling potion. Trebbelos hands it to you and says, "It will make you invisible, but only to your ego. Use when you need it most."
Steve: I will save it for the final fight. Now where to?
Zack: After a shitload of backtracking - and a lot of complaining from Trebbelos who is way past his nap time and desperately needs a bottle - you end up outside a door. A faint, reddish glow emanates from beneath the door.
Steve: Kicking it in and preparing to fight some evil.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Youtube user HolkHogan420 has been systematically exposing all of the Illuminati's plans.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.