Steve: You see a muddy lake ahead of you and you see this super fine green lady pop up out of the lake. Her rack is totally out and she's beckoning you to join her in a passionate embrace of pure erotic pleasure.
Zack: After fighting my way through a nightmare dungeon designed to punish innocent skeletons I sure am tempted to jump in a mud hole with a green woman.
Steve: Maybe this will change your mind: she casts a powerful charm spell on you. You are lured towards her big rack.
Zack: Don't I at least get a save versus gross, creepy lady in creepy, gross places?
Steve: No! You want to dive down into the lake with her and do it forever!
Zack: "Sorry, toots. I'm married." I show her my skeleton ring.
Steve: She screams in defeat before the might of unholy matrimony and disappears beneath the lake.
Zack: Good thing her intelligence is low. It was an open relationship.
Master is troll wizard, so's if he get angry he might cast spell up on my self and bite off my whole head in one chomp.
It's true. Grimace is human. God help us, we did our best for him.
Kirk Cameron destroys the internet with his rage and jacks it to boats, hallelujah!
The famed gonzo otaku journalist writes about the death of gaming culture in 2014.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.