Steve: You see a muddy lake ahead of you and you see this super fine green lady pop up out of the lake. Her rack is totally out and she's beckoning you to join her in a passionate embrace of pure erotic pleasure.
Zack: After fighting my way through a nightmare dungeon designed to punish innocent skeletons I sure am tempted to jump in a mud hole with a green woman.
Steve: Maybe this will change your mind: she casts a powerful charm spell on you. You are lured towards her big rack.
Zack: Don't I at least get a save versus gross, creepy lady in creepy, gross places?
Steve: No! You want to dive down into the lake with her and do it forever!
Zack: "Sorry, toots. I'm married." I show her my skeleton ring.
Steve: She screams in defeat before the might of unholy matrimony and disappears beneath the lake.
Zack: Good thing her intelligence is low. It was an open relationship.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.