Steve: I don't even know how to describe the room you're in now.
Zack: Is that a giant scorpion?
Steve: Yeah. And manticores and giant crayfish and sea lions. And I don't mean the fun kind of sea lions.
Zack: M.C. Escher's zoo is the worst. Buddy Jones doesn't need this shit.
Steve: You'd better do something. These animals are going into a bloodthirsty berserker rage.
Zack: Alright, I'm going to huddle up my skeletons and we're going to put our craniums together and pray to my unholy god to intervene. There's got to be some sort of black-hearted deity worshipped by evil dwarf necromancers.
Steve: Your prayers are answered by an improbable series of leaks and falling windows as the evil skull dwarf god repays you for your evil service. All that's left guarding those doors are the manticores.
Zack: Skeletons, attack!
Steve: There's no way a bunch of skeletons are going to take out those manticores.
Zack: Who said anything about taking them out? You should know my MO by now: let the skeletons battle heroically while I slink past like a coward.
I was betrayed by the bernio bros, the cougars, and this guy from back page I hired to keep me from jumping out a window at the DNC.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.