Steve: I don't even know how to describe the room you're in now.
Zack: Is that a giant scorpion?
Steve: Yeah. And manticores and giant crayfish and sea lions. And I don't mean the fun kind of sea lions.
Zack: M.C. Escher's zoo is the worst. Buddy Jones doesn't need this shit.
Steve: You'd better do something. These animals are going into a bloodthirsty berserker rage.
Zack: Alright, I'm going to huddle up my skeletons and we're going to put our craniums together and pray to my unholy god to intervene. There's got to be some sort of black-hearted deity worshipped by evil dwarf necromancers.
Steve: Your prayers are answered by an improbable series of leaks and falling windows as the evil skull dwarf god repays you for your evil service. All that's left guarding those doors are the manticores.
Zack: Skeletons, attack!
Steve: There's no way a bunch of skeletons are going to take out those manticores.
Zack: Who said anything about taking them out? You should know my MO by now: let the skeletons battle heroically while I slink past like a coward.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
He was ripped off for True Detective, now Thomas Ligotti is being asked to review Pizza Hut's new Hotdog Pizza Bites.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.