Steve: You enter a chamber of great riches and treasures. "Ha ha ha! I see you have made it this far, adventurer! My trap has worked." It's Keraptis, alive after all these years.
Zack: If you call this living. This place is a dump.
Steve: "I'm happy with it."
Zack: I guess you can get used to anything. I've seen better dungeons come out the tail end of a purple worm, you little hair-foot.
Steve: He seems pretty mad.
Zack: Good! I'm sick of his shit. He built a dungeon in an active volcano and fills it with a bunch of monsters and complicated traps, why?
Steve: "Ha ha ha! For my amusement!"
Zack: The old, "Dance for me, my puppets." I'm going to cast Blindness on him, then I'm going to grab the magic weapons that I guess was why I came here, and then I'm going to throw this guy to the manticores.
Steve: I thought Buddy Jones was non-violent?
Zack: He was, but everyone has their breaking point.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.