Steve: You enter a chamber of great riches and treasures. "Ha ha ha! I see you have made it this far, adventurer! My trap has worked." It's Keraptis, alive after all these years.
Zack: If you call this living. This place is a dump.
Steve: "I'm happy with it."
Zack: I guess you can get used to anything. I've seen better dungeons come out the tail end of a purple worm, you little hair-foot.
Steve: He seems pretty mad.
Zack: Good! I'm sick of his shit. He built a dungeon in an active volcano and fills it with a bunch of monsters and complicated traps, why?
Steve: "Ha ha ha! For my amusement!"
Zack: The old, "Dance for me, my puppets." I'm going to cast Blindness on him, then I'm going to grab the magic weapons that I guess was why I came here, and then I'm going to throw this guy to the manticores.
Steve: I thought Buddy Jones was non-violent?
Zack: He was, but everyone has their breaking point.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
He was ripped off for True Detective, now Thomas Ligotti is being asked to review Pizza Hut's new Hotdog Pizza Bites.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.