Steve: One of the coolest things about old school D&D were the ridiculous numbers under "NO. APPEARING." That's 12d12 Monodrones.
Zack: I remember playing D&D once when we encountered 15 orcs or goblins. It took ten minutes just to figure out the order in which everyone would attack. Imagine encountering 123 of them.
Steve: It should be your first red flag that whoever put this in the Monster Manual never intended for anyone to actually use them in a game.
Zack: Or whoever put the Modrons in the book was an autistic kook obsessed with huge random tables and square roots and rolling dice. Take your pick.
Steve: When you say huge do you mean medium?
Zack: I mean generating data tables that require you to roll three ten-sided dice.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
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Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.