Zack: The Wizard's Ennui.
Steve: This is the most jaded dude in all of Myth Drannor. He doesn't give a crap what you are doing. He has seen it all, man.
Zack: He looks a little bit like he cast summon toilet and the spell went wrong and he just went with it.
Zack: "Oh, you think I won't shit on this giant snail? Watch this..."Steve: I hate wizards. They are pretty much the worst thing about D&D next to sorcerers. This dude is like a propaganda poster of wizard stereotypes and I kind of need a barbarian to bust in here and cleave some limbs off this dude. Maybe shove that snail into a salt mine or something.
Zack: "Hey, occupied! I'm on the snail!"
Steve: That is not going to work. A barbarian will definitely chop the head off a dude going to the bathroom.
Zack: Definitely? Like if I put up a Craigslist ad "DUMPING DUDE SEEKS AXE LOVER TO CHOP UP MY FACE, ME + YOU, RUIN MY 2 AND LEAVE ME HEADLESS" I am going to get some action?
Steve: Yeah just post it to the Icewind Dale Craigslist.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
What do you do when The Dark Knight himself pulls a boner?
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.