Zack: The Wizard's Ennui.
Steve: This is the most jaded dude in all of Myth Drannor. He doesn't give a crap what you are doing. He has seen it all, man.
Zack: He looks a little bit like he cast summon toilet and the spell went wrong and he just went with it.
Zack: "Oh, you think I won't shit on this giant snail? Watch this..."Steve: I hate wizards. They are pretty much the worst thing about D&D next to sorcerers. This dude is like a propaganda poster of wizard stereotypes and I kind of need a barbarian to bust in here and cleave some limbs off this dude. Maybe shove that snail into a salt mine or something.
Zack: "Hey, occupied! I'm on the snail!"
Steve: That is not going to work. A barbarian will definitely chop the head off a dude going to the bathroom.
Zack: Definitely? Like if I put up a Craigslist ad "DUMPING DUDE SEEKS AXE LOVER TO CHOP UP MY FACE, ME + YOU, RUIN MY 2 AND LEAVE ME HEADLESS" I am going to get some action?
Steve: Yeah just post it to the Icewind Dale Craigslist.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.