Zack: He looks like a Russian lit professor who just got asked a question about Nightwatch.
Steve: Are you getting why I hate wizards yet?
Zack: You don't like Pushkin?Steve: He's flying around and cavorting with fairies.
Zack: Nobody cavorts anymore.
Zack: Maybe it's these hard times we are living in, what with our wars and video games about wars and achievements for war video games to remind us of the innocence our nation has lost in the crucible of war video games.
Steve: I think we got over cavorting when we stopped having wizards.
Zack: Only the KKK still cavorts.Steve: Yeah, exactly, and everyone boos them even in the south because wizards are the worst.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.