Steve: "Welcome to the first meeting of the cosmically good hair club."

Zack: "We call upon you, oh ancients, to volumize and style us."

Steve: Way more people would go to church if it was like this.

Zack: What, officiated by Carl Sagan with luxurious gray hair in a church crumbling into the cosmos itself?

Steve: No, dude, with super sweet robes and effects and hot babes all around you.

Zack: Those are not hot babes.

Steve: Argh!! Even the wizard book is the worst, luring me in with the hot ghost babe on the cover and then giving me nothing but tons of men.

Zack: Billions and billions of men.

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.